Today's prompt: Comfort.
One of the main reasons I started this blog, aside from keeping people update, was for a reason to keep myself writing. I suspected that my time for leisure writing would be minimal, just as it was as an undergraduate, only this time the difference is that I'm not studying creative writing anymore. I'm not swimming in other peoples' words and manuscripts every day in class or living in a city that's overflowing with opportunities to share your voice and hear other people speak. I was afraid that without the culture of writing that I found at Iowa, my writing would dry up. But the one thing I didn't anticipate was how my own self-consciousness would keep me from sharing my writing here. There have been far too many posts that have sat, half-written, in a drafts folder, only to be given up on when I got sick of trying to get the words just right or got lost and forgot where I was going with them to begin this. Writing for an audience is very different, and it's something that puts me out of my comfort zone. I've been writing for as long as I can remember, but releasing my writing onto the world doesn't get any easier with time. I'm a recovering perfectionist, and that means that I judge myself harder than anyone else does--but it also means I don't like giving people a chance to judge me. Whether in my writing or in my life, I know the judgements I'm passing on myself are more severe than what anyone else will--so why give other people a chance to beat you up when you do it all yourself? This is something I'm working on and have been getting better at, but it requires doing a lot of things I'm uncomfortable with. Talking about things I'd rather keep to myself and letting other people show me a new perspective. Sharing things that make me uncomfortable, crossing my fingers and hoping that the person I share them with won't run the other way. So I think doing this project, these writing prompts, when I can, will be good for my writing and good for me as well, because I'm forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone and share just a small but completely unedited piece of me.